Saving Your Marriage Without a Counselor

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1. Begin with you.

Perhaps you can win his love. My husband has cheated many times and is an addict. We have children and I cant give up. He is sick and want my marriage to work. I filed for divorce but stopped it in hopes for change and a couple months later I moved out but we are still trying. We used to fight all the time.

We talk more now. However, he says this is all alot because he is moving back in but wont explain what alot is. I am trying to stay positive and be there when he is ready to talk and not be pushy. He wants to hang out with friends by himself alot and i dont feel like that is a good idea.

I think we should be spending time together to figure this out and fix our marriage. Is it to late? If he is addicted to substance, whether its drugs legit or not or alcohol, his heart is closed off AND the substances cause a cycle of degeneration that cannot be stopped until the addicted one has hit their bottom, and stops… it happens all the time. If you are saying he is addicted to his habits, that is not the same. He can be helped by you being more loving and connected yourself.

My name is Breanna. My husband and I have been married 4 years now. I just caught him paying prostitues for sex in crack motels.

9 Things Marriage Therapists Tell Couples On The Verge Of Divorce

I have caught him cheating endless times and have even left him an gotten my own home. Only to have him crying for me back doing all the right things making me believe he has changed and BAM! I catch him again. We are together all the time and have what I thought an amazing relationship. My therapist believes from the things I have told and showed her that he has a sex addiction problem.

This time I found videos, emails, hotel receipts, text messages, everything. Yet he still denies black and white proof to my face as If i am stupid. So why apologize if he is saying he did not do it? I am tired of feeling as if I am the problem when I clearly am not. I feel I can never compete with someone with a sex addiction problem. We have sex literally almost everyday, yet he still cheats. What can I do?

Is this fixable? Should I run and never look back? I am at my whits end. You are going through Hell! The problem is not in the details, or you having sex with him, or him being addicted to sex. You cannot be addicted to sex, just be habituated, which is NOT the same thing. The REAL problem, as there is only one, is that the two of you have no idea how to be married. What you must do now is study marriage, how your mind works, and all the other aspects of marriage so you can make it happen.

Have you at least gotten one of my books? But what you really need is the course… write to our counselors for more direction, but no, you should not give up. I left my husband almost 3 years ago because of his affair with his assistant. He tried to everything to win me back and promised that he already stopped. We had 2 children one is 11 yrs now and the other one is 4 years. I accepted him. And now after almost 3 years being happy together i saw a picture of him and the other woman along with a 7mos.

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Its her baptismal and my husband was there seems very happy in the pictures. He even denies a communication with the other woman despite in the picture shes hugging and holding him…i see from my husband face how happy he is and how comfortable he is with her and her family. Now im in so much depression and i dont know what to do. Even my kids are affected. I wanted to run away everytime and lea ve him so that they can both be happy. I dont know what to do now he says he will never leave us whatever happened and he loves me….

How To Stop Divorce And Save Your Marriage: How To Fix A Broken Marriage Without Counseling

I hope u can help me. Im so tired and everything is a mess right now. Please help me. Dear Scott I pray its not too late. Go to this video I put together, so you know what you are getting into. I just found this link. Everything you wrote is so true. Our first reactions are leave, get out, so what, etc. He always says no to spending time together, but when he wants to do something he expects yes. It is very hurtful that we should be doing more. I am harsh with words just like him.

I want my marriage and this failure did not happen overnight. I want to see where I need correction, and truly understand what marriage is about. My children have grown up witnessing dysfunction. But it IS within your power to heal everything. If your marriage is far gone you will need the help provided by the course we put together for you, which I explain in this video.

Otherwise, use one of my books to get educated. But be careful. If you are in serious trouble and try to patch things you will make it worse. Unfortunately after almost 22 years of marriage and raising our children, me surviving a massive stroke, going through many financial ups and downs I am afraid my husband and I have just grown too far apart. There is no resolution since communication is so dysfunctional.

I have shut down to avoid the fights. Dear Jenny I know it may seem like that now, but it all has to do with perspective and insights. You both have so much invested, and are so young. You can have an amazing life starting now. Put all your energy into making your marriage the happiest part of your life. I have seen it and know what we share will work for you, too. Paul,I just want to say thank you for posting these comments. They have given me confidence, insight, reassurance and HOPE. I have been married for just over 22 years and we are in the process of divorce.

I am a very affectionate person and have hardly ever been able to receive the same affection from him. Dear TM Absolutely there is hope, even at this stage where your husband is moving in with his girlfriend. But you cannot expect him to respond to the you he is leaving. So many make the same mistake of applying all kinds of excuses, resentment, and their own sense of righteous indignation, when they should start working on themselves with the true idea that they were quite imperfect as a wife.

Get busy! I have laid out the path and process in minute detail in the the course. All you have to do is follow it sincerely. Hi Paul, We have been married for over 30 years and now the marriage is on the rocks to say the least. My wife keeps saying it is over and finished and insisting that she does not want to try to fix it anymore. Is there anything that can be done to save the marriage when she is insisting that it is over! Of course the reasons are scientific, but that does not matter to you at the moment.

You may look at your behaviors, to see what is driving the wedge. I would suggest getting one of my books so you have a comparison. Maybe its not too late…. Paul, My husband and I have been married for 2 years now. What can I do to help my relationship? This is a lesson I learned very early on, that the desire to change, no matter how sincere, is overridden by habits and instincts. It is what ends marriages, because it is so logical to change that we cannot imagine its not possiblle without addressing it specifically.

I realized it has to be first order of process in healing a marriage, so thats what you will do when you, not your husband, takes the course. There is no other sure way. Paul, my wife and I have been married for 4 years now 8 in total. She walk out on me this past week. However, she says she loves me. Now she wants a child of her own which I understand and respect!

Id give anything to save my marriage and make her happy. I feel helpless right now! I just want her to come back home so, we can continue building our lives together.


DC The desire a woman has to have children is built in biologically. You say you would do anything, but it seems that is not the case. So, you need to be both honest and fair. You need to, at the very least, read one of my books. If you want to try to heal your marriage you will have to do nothiing less than take our course. Dear Paul, My husband and I have been together for going on 7 years. We have been married for going on 5 years now.

We have a 5 year old, and a 2 year old. We have been having issues, because i have been taking him for granted. I have not been communicating with him on my feelings, and not being honest. I love him still, even when he treats me like a child, and not getting me the respect and responsibility that I need to share with him. I have been doing this since before we got married, and he is starting to not care about our marriage.

He has been fighting for our marriage, and I havent been trying as hard. We decided last year that we were going to invite another couple into our bedroom, and on our anniversary we invited another woman to our bedroom. I later found out that he had sex with her by himself while I was asleep. We have been going downhill since than and I dont want our marriage to fail.

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I dont know what I should do, I need to work on a bunch of stuff with myself and I dont know how to do that. I need help, and I am about to lose him.

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  4. I dont want that to happen. Inviting more sex partners into your relationship was disconnected from your desire to reconnect because it undermines trust, respect, and basic morality. You are both now so confused about what marriage is and what you are to each other that you need to go back to step one, and learn about marriage AS you learn to be together. I as a husband I have done so many wrongs I cant start to imagine them or how my wife felt.

    But, to avoid these changes ruin your lives and your marriage, be sure to revisit your life plans every once in a while. For example, your husband might be still counting on your income for the mortgage. And if you express the change in your wishes clearly, you can come to a new solution without letting that destroy your relationship. Take Course. Marriage Advice. Marriage Course. Marriage Quizzes.

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    How to Fix a Marriage Without Counseling – Revisit the Basics

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    Saving Your Marriage Without a Counselor Saving Your Marriage Without a Counselor

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